Joel Hendon

Real Men Don’t Fold Clothes


Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012

by Joel Hendon
http://hebronics.org/index.html

My wife and I have been married now for 673 months and I do not believe there has been one of those months that she hasn’t at least made a soft remark about how I leave my clothes. We’ve never fought over it but it exasperates her. When I lay my clothes out for the next day, somehow, they won’t lay down quietly, they cris-cross one another and wad up in knots. She goes to bed much later than I do and when I arise, the clothes have straightened themselves out, but she still complains that I don’t try.

If she is feeling ill or has some other hindrance, she asks me to get the clothes out of the dryer and fold them for her. I hate that. But being the grateful husband that I am (because she is a prize, indeed) I go at it with a zeal. When folded and stacked, I can see why she wanted me to do them. It is twice the height of most any stack I see her do. And she is never happy with the way I folded them. So, she refolds them.

I have had to explain several times how I was able to keep my clothes neat and displayed in the Army as we were required to do. It is not difficult to do. First, the shirts, jackets and coats were never folded, but hanged. Secondly most of our other clothes, towels, socks and such, were rolled in tight rolls. Our sheets, blankets and pillow cases were sent to the laundry where someone (women without a doubt) pressed and/or folded them very neatly.

If any readers are familiar with the comic strip “Pickles”, you can well understand how different men and women are. Our children tell us that the Pickles are perfect examples of me and their mother. Today’s strip showed the poor old fellow taking the laundry out of the dryer and was holding, of all things, a fitted bed sheet! The curse of all folded clothes. They cannot be well folded. Even though, when you purchase a new one in a plastic container, it is fairly well folded. However, I have figured out how they do that. They ball each one up and lay them down on marble floors in two rows. They then lead a company owned elephant (female without doubt) down the line being careful that they step squarely on each one. Then a woman follows behind, sacking them up into their retail container.

Poor Mr. Pickles, when he finished folding, it looked like wrinkled basket ball. But speaking of those fitted sheets, they should be immediately reinstalled on the mattress. That is the ONLY way they can be made to look neat. Out of true concern for my wife’s feelings, I figured out a way to fold those things where they look more like a fold than a wad, but is still quite pitiful. Here is the recipe for that, and even my wife acknowledges that it looks a little better. But, I still can’t do it. She has to follow my recipe.

RECIPE: After removing a mattress cover or fitted sheet from the dryer, lay it upside down on an uncluttered bed. (This is with the puckered elastic side up) Lay it out as far each way as it will stay. From about midway of the head to the foot, turn the puckered elastic down under the edges instead of on top. Once you do that, they will stay quite still while you manipulate the sheet by lifting up end which has been turned under, fold it up near to the other end and tuck inside that end of the puckered elastic. As far as you can get it to go. Now, you have the aggravating thing under control. You can then fold it either way you wish and you will then have a folded fitted sheet. There is only one thing bad about this. It still looks like crud!

Folding a shirt is almost as bad as the fitted sheet. They were not made with a folder in mind. My wife has shown me time and again how to fold one but being a man’s shirt, they rebel when I try to fold them. They know. In fact, I can’t even hang a pair of pants straight. If I hang them three different times, they have three different creases on each leg.

After all these years, my wife still says that men just don’t want to fold clothes. That ain’t It! I have never known of any chore or anything that I did not wish to be able to master. I know exactly what all this ruckus is about.

God is all wise, Omniscient. After he made Adam, he knew full well that this clumsy oaf would never be able to fold clothes, especially shirts and fitted sheets. So here is what he said:

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:18 NKJV)

Now the term ‘help meet’ in modern English means a helper, suitable for him. Which means that she would be able to do the things that the man could not possibly do.

I don’t mind opening a stubborn jar for her. Her hands are still small and soft. And nothing is more dear than her touch.
Author Biography: Joel Hendon was born near Gadsden Alabama. He attended public schools in Cherokee County, Alabama and after serving a tour of duty in the U.S. Army during the Korean War, attended Jacksonville State University, majoring in Business Administration. He became a Christian in 1948, and although he followed secular work as a career and retired from Allied Signal Aerospace, he is an avid student of the Holy Bible and related works as well as biblical history. He has an extensive website of conservative religious and political articles.http://hebronics.org/index.html

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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)
» left by Nancy Daniels
 126 days 23 hours ago.
68 fans.
Joel, I could see this so well, envisioning the fitted sheet on the bed. And the fact that it still looks like 'crud.' Gosh, I haven't heard that word in years!

For all those Generation X'ers or Y'ers or whatever they are called, God made woman different from man for a reason. And I am so glad He did!

Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning.
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