The Minuses And The Pluses Of Growing Old According To One Who Knows
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011
by Joel Hendon
http://hebronics.org/index.html
Age is a peculiar thing. So terribly many are not blessed to see it, so those of us who go beyond the average lifespan of our nation, our gender, should feel grateful. Of course, that in itself is conditional. One who is ravaged with pain or is completely helpless, in my humble opinion, has no pleasure in living. And knowing that death cannot be far away and that it is assured brings one to the point of feeling, I would think, that to get it over with is best.
The saying goes that wisdom comes with age. I don’t question that, in that life’s experiences are enlightening and some have a profound effect on us. But this idea must be tempered also in that the degree of wisdom one has as he becomes old is determined by several factors. One is that it depends upon how much ‘smarts’ he has to begin with. Another is it depends upon what kind, and how many, of experiences one may encounter. And still another factor is how much one perceives and retains from those experiences. There are still more but those, I think are the main ones.
There are things which become burdensome as you grow older. It is rare indeed that one gets into the eighties or nineties without at least some slightly debilitating illnesses or injuries. I knew a fellow once, whenever I would ask how he was doing, would always respond by saying, “Aw, if I told you, you’d only cry”. The thing is, as you accumulate these minor pains and other debilitating factors, they seem rather minor and tolerable. Then some day, you just get started thinking and you are immersed in minor aches and pains and other nuisance problems.
Since I don’t want to make anyone cry, I’ll only mention a few things which have befallen me. I inherited lousy toenails. My dad had them, one sibling brother, also had them. I made mine worse. The primary factor of the inherited part was that the large toes’ nails were badly ingrown. Not the turning down on the end as some do, but almost growing out like a tube, digging in on either side. My dad lived with them all of his life. My brother, eventually had his two large nails removed.
Back in the late 1950’s I worked as an insurance investigator for some 4 years, requiring lots of driving and a great deal of walking. I also had to dress in business suits (horrors) and dress shoes. This back in the days when dress shoes’ toes were pointed! I had bought a new nice pair of shoes for the job, but either my feet swelled or they shrunk, they began to hurt my feet, but being the tough guy, I determined to whip them. So I kept wearing them. They were good shoes and I believe they lasted me most of those four years. When I finally wised up (here is where I accrued a tiny bit of wisdom), the toenails on my left foot were slanted to the right and the toenails on my right foot were slanted to the left!
I lived like that for several years, but finally had to have my left big toenail removed. I intended to have the other one removed, but having gone for weeks with an extremely tender left foot toe, I decided to let it be. But it remains tender to this day. They were always difficult to trim. Thick and hard. Ordinary toenail snips do not open wide enough to get astride them. And now, since it has become excruciatingly difficult to get down there and trim them, I simply have to take a short spell with them and another later.
I have many other similar decrepitudes which have given me bits of wisdom, but we won’t go into most of those. I will tell you of my most recently acquired, slightly debilitating, feature. About 12 to 14 years ago, I believe, this began unnoticed by me. I can give everyone a hint that might let you know whether or not it is sneaking up on you, although I don’t know of anything you can about it. If you look at my photo (taken about that long ago) and if you notice the back neck of my coat is standing off my neck. That I believe is first evidence that my neck had decided to get out in head of me. But the last two or three years the condition has worsened considerably. It is called by doctors, Kyphosis, so you won’t have any clue what it means.
But it is a curvature of the spine which hit’s a lot of old folk. My mother died at age 78, very much affected by this condition. Although I don’t think it kills anyone, nor does it afford any pain to speak of, but it has it’s problems. My normal position now is head down, scalp pointing almost directly in front of me. I can lift my head up, but not the base of my neck, so I look like a normal man with his head held way back, looking upward, when I am only looking forward. Anyway, I’ll explain some of the upside to this.
As I leave any store or business, I now find many more coins people have dropped, than I used to. I do not have to speak to everyone I meet when I am in a bad mood. I see what kinds of shoes and socks are worn by the many people I meet. One good example of this is about four days ago, I was in a local store, shuffling along towards the check out, when off to my left I saw a pair of women’s legs clothed in pants, with one leg rolled up nearly to her knee. About the time I saw them, a voice came from that direction, “Well, hello Joel, how have you been all these years?” I looked up and thought, my, I hope the good Lord knows her better than I, or she is a goner. But I said, “Fine, and how are you?”
I could see she recognized that I knew her not, so she volunteered her name and hubby’s name and told me she worked for me at a former plant. I did recognize the name and some of her became recognizable to me. After we talked a few minutes, I said, as I pointed to her leg, “I’m not trying to be funny now, but you surely didn’t ride a bicycle all the way into town did you?” She then showed me a sore on her shin bone and told me that she was trying to keep plenty of air to it because it wasn‘t healing as well as it should.
But the downside of this bowed head syndrome is of course my face. It leaves the top of my head (which is now known as the front side) vulnerable to any low hanging pot, open kitchen cabinet doors (and man, those sharp corners can inflict severe pain). And my youthful appearance has also depreciated. About five years ago (our drivers licenses are good for four years) the photo on my license was horrendous! I told my wife I was going to protest and have them make me a new one, she informed me that it was a perfect likeness. She sure knows how to hurt a fellow. But then when it was time for renewal, I thought to myself that I knew I did not look that bad and maybe this time it would be a better photo. Sigh. I could tell no difference whatsoever. I believe I may have even had on the same shirt. I consoled myself by saying that I suspected that the new photo was so bad, they decided to use my old one. But the story doesn’t end there. About 2 months ago I signed up for health care benefits under the Veterans Administration’s plan and they had to make me a photo ID, made similarly as the drivers license. So! I determined that on this one, I would hold my head high and smile big, since I had a really sour look on the previous two. So, I did.
It took about too weeks for them to complete my admittance to the health care plan and they mailed me my new ID card. My hands were quivering in nervous anticipation as I opened the envelope…there is definitely a conspiracy going on between state and national governments to try and discourage the elderly from living, so we will leave the “entitlements” formerly known as Social Security Insurance which we paid for over the period of 40+ years. Thankfully, the photo was smaller and not right in the center of the card, so maybe those who check it will not notice the appearance of the holder. I don’t see as well as I used to, but there was a small photo, identical to the two on my previous drivers licenses. They had retouched the photo and the broad smile I had purposely strained to get, was diminished to the scowl look of my other photos. I did have a new shirt though. Similar, but a different color.
So there is one thing, it you plan to live to be an old codger, learn to act like a politician and ignore what people say about you, roll with the punches…someone will help you up. But most of all be thankful for being as pain free as you are and learn to laugh at every calamity.
When someone said that laughter is the best medicine, they got it right. As my wife and I grow older, we jokingly ridicule each other unceasingly. And we laugh almost that much. It is difficult to worry about your weaknesses and problems when you are double over laughing. And that is so much easier to do if only you have Kyphosis.
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Eighty-one isn't old, if you're a tree.
Bent back, protruding neck and foul toenails notwithstanding, I salute your life's longevity, but you didn't mention surviving the worst severe debilitating condition, that of Conservative Republicanism, which does surely corrodes the brain and soul and how you have managed to sustain and survive that.
Affection,
PaulCome on my friend, Paul. Everyone understands that except the liberals who simply just do not understand anything. Besides, I was a hard shelled Democrat until I gained a little of my accumulated wisdom.Here, here. I'm with Joel's accumulated wisdom!
Joel are you sure those toenails were inherited? You might have spared that toenail with a simple laser application which annihilates common toe fungus.
My mother had the bent spine which really started to go in her 80's. I have the early signs of it in my 60's and have begun to note chronic aches that weren't there 5 years ago and yes I have learned to largely ignore them.
I admire the way you put a positive spin on your "dicrepitudes". It's also nice to have a wife that can see you the way you are, even if you don't like it, especially if it keeps you laughing as you stare at the rug under your lone big toenail.Thank you William for your response to my article. Yes, I'm reasonably sure these toenalls are inherited, seeing as how three in the same family had almost indentical sets of them.
High 5, Joel and my advice, keep writing. You are such a powerful guy at 81. I couldn't help but laughing....
By the way, that new picture perhaps you can upload here ?Thank you Hilda, for your kind comment. But the new photo?? I won't even show that to my 56 year mate any more. She guffawed when I told her the last one was where I was smiling.
I always hold my thumb over it when I have to show it to a policeman...until he pries it open.
Thanks for sharing your heart, Joel. Thank goodness, we can still laugh at ourselves and the things that happen as we age. I loved this article!Thanks Fran, and I agree with you. I would probably go nuts if I ever got (or get) to the point that I feel too badly to enjoy a laugh. My wife and I are very fortunate. Both of our families were kindly alike. Get a crowd of them together and laughter was the result. Of course, all of both families are now gone, except for one sister each.
I am swiftly gaining more admiration for the younger generations. I must look extremely pathetic, because I constantly get offers of assistance at Walmart, finding items, retrieving them from high spots, and offers of help to get them to my car, and offers to put the cart away!! Good Grief!! Young whipper-snappers. I appreciate them every one.
You give me hope to carry on- because I see in you that it can be done. Extraordinary article- much enjoyed it- Thanks - Always-EllaThank you Ella, I appreciate your comment.
First of all Joel, your picture is grand and I never even noticed the collar bit. Thoroughly enjoyed your article and hope lots of people have a chance to read it. You're right about the little things. Each day you have to wonder where that tingle, or the ouch, or the little stab that makes your breath hang is going to strike. It's the confounded arthritis that I have to do battle with - when I get an ouch somewhere, then I know the big A is going to strike there next. Right now it's ouching in my knees. Only when I go down the steps. Never had problems with my knees. I have quite a few years to go before I can match your years, so I'm hurrying along, not that I want to. What's that everyone says? Golden years? Yeah, only because the alternative isn't an alternative for a long time to come. Stay well, WS friend! Keep sharing those incredible stories of yours!Thank you kindly Heidi, for the encouraging comment. I'm extremely thankful that my aches and pains are minor. I also have arthritis, but it is osteo-arthritis which is far less devastating than Rheumatoid arthritis. And my knees are also bad, but their pain is minor...the biggest problem with them is they feel as if they are going to give way and let me fall. Thus the cane I use.
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