How To Love God More Than Family, Self…Really
Posted: Monday, November 19, 2007
by Joel Hendon
http://hebronics.org/index.html
I have had people ask me, a number of times, "How on earth can God expect me to love Him more than I love my children, my wife, or myself? It is totally unreasonable and, in my opinion, just cannot be done!"
That sounds like a pretty good question and attitude, and in one way it is. But just bear with me while we look into the matter. I promise you some answers that you can live with if you'll just keep an open mind. First of all lets look at the scriptures which command what we are studying. The first one we want to look at is in Exodus 20:5-6 when God is giving to Moses the 10 commandments. This being the 3 rd one, referring to false gods, graven images, etc.. "Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me , and keep my commandments."
John 13:14: " If ye love me, keep my commandments."
Now, watch this one and think about it: "He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him." (John 14:21)
John 14:23: "Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him."
Now, in reference to Matthew 10:37 above. The word, "loveth" is from the Greek filwn "Phileo" (fil-eh'-o) and it has multiple distinct meanings, one of which is "to approve of". Another is "to like".
And, there is one which is, "to treat affectionately or kindly, to welcome, befriend."
There are also instances where love for God and God's love for man comes from the Greek word ajgavph "Agape" (ag-ah'-pay) and the primary meanings of this word are "brotherly love, affection, good will, love, benevolence"
No scripture anywhere means or infers that you are to have the physical emotions or affection towards Jesus or God, as that towards your family. Now, let us try and sort out and explain as closely as possible, just what the above scriptures do mean. As closely as I can personally describe the love we are to have towards God and His Son, Jesus is"Respect and Awe". Appreciation for what they have done on our behalf, and a desire to show these feelings to others. A DESIRE to obey them, not only in one or two points but in all points described in God's word. Awe because of the greatness of this Spirit. Omnipotent (unlimited strength or power), Omniscient (Unlimited knowledge, knowing every thing there is to be knowneverything), Omnipresent (presence which transcends space, all encompassing). If you accept the existence of God and consider these characteristics, there should be no problems of having the utmost respect and awe for such a being.
How then does the verse of Matthew 10:37 apply to us? . "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."
The intense natural affection we hold for our children, and/or parents is not threatened here. We don't have the desire to hold Jesus on our knee or to get down in the floor and play with Him.
The application for this verse is simply that, you respect (love) Jesus to the extent that you are willing to obey and serve Him regardless. If this should divide you from your parents, then so be it. You don't have to stop loving them but you must never allow them, or your children, or anyone else, to draw you away from serving the Almighty God in complete submission and obedience.
Anyone can assuredly accept this form of love towards God and His Son. It even behooves us to do everything possible to convert any of our family who would hinder us from serving Him. There are numerous other things which this awesome respect for God places obligation upon us. Read the passage above from John 13:14 again. The destructive doctrines promulgated by many are totally unbiblical and will lead anyone to eternal punishment. Those that say all one has to do is believe on Jesus Christ. Or similarly, that faith alone will carry you straight into heaven.
Can we not read that little verse mentioned above and see that we have to be obedient to biblical teachings in order to show our love? Read all of those verses above again. "So then faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God" (Romans 10: 17)
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." (Hebrews 11:6) What does the underlined phrase mean?
The faith being referred to is not just believing that God exists and that Jesus was His son, but rather, believing the entire bible. Which, being interpreted is that we believe what they say to do and therefore we must do them. James 2:19 says: "Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble." Will the devils make it to heaven?
Many will yell that we cannot meet every requirement, we will sin some regardless. Yes, that is true but it is here where God's grace comes in. If we do our very best, those inadvertent sins will not be credited to us. But if we attempt to just go our merry way, never studying to see what we should do, never worrying but that God will just automatically forgive us for all sins, think again.
But if we walk in the light (word) , as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth (Continues to clean-JH) us from all sin . (1 John 1:7)
I plan to soon write an article on "How Much Knowledge Of The Bible Must We Have?", as a continuation of the above thoughts.
This Article has been viewed 3,151 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Joel, I am glad that you got Matthew 10:37 in context. This was a sore spot for me when a writer tried to use this verse to justify leaving his family in a quest for spiritual enlightenment. My family means the world to me as well as my God. I don't make that distinction. Thank you for the clarification.Thank you for the comments James, and for reading my article. It is unfortunate that some people teach that Matthew 10:37 authorizes neglect or abandonment of family to serve God. I had an older brother who almost waited too late to try and reason that very scripture. I finally convinced him about 3 years ago that it did not mean he had to have more emotional affection toward Jesus than his children and he then became a Christian and worked hard at it until he passed away this last spring.
This article was very helpful to me. After Bible study tonight, I was in tears, knowing in my heart that I love my children so much that I feel I love them more than God. This article helped put into context for me that I can feel the close physical affection and deep love for them(almost a guttural feeling), but that the love and respect and awe I have for God can be MORE than the love I have for my children. It is a different kind of love. I do not feel the physical love for God, because I have never touched Him. But, this does not mean that what I do feel for him is not Great Love. Thank you for your teachings.Thank you for writing and kind words. I m thankful that the articled helped. helped
I have heard this verse quoted by those leaving our church body. They have said even though we are "family" God is their father and they have to obey his call to leave. They said that they sincerely had no problems, conflicts etc with our church's teaching, leaders or any individuals etc.We are not a perfect church but we can see God's work among us, we have walked alongside this family through many other tough decisions but they did not give us the opportunity to pray and walk alongside them as they made this decision. The pastor and elders were told this after their decision was reached.One in the family is still a current deacon at our church, who 2 yrs. ago felt God calling him to this position to shepherd and care for our church body. he has 2 years to fulfill what he vowed before the church but is now walking away from that commitment as well as their membership.I love this family and was truly hurt by their decision. My spirit has been in turmoil as well as others in the church. I have been reading through the NT to see how things like this were handled in the NT churches.Over and over again I only see the pattern of individuals being sent by the leaders of one church to another for specific purposes of giving a report, going to encourage, correct or teach, to give an gift or receive a gift.It seems to be done in a spirit of mutual agreement and is a blessing for both churches involved.We as a church have often sent other families and individuals off to another church or place when we could all see and agree that it was truly God calling them. It has always been a time of mutual blessing and encouragement.This has become a pattern among some of our church families and this verse is often cited to justify just walking out on their former church body.Can this verse be used in the way they are using it to justify just walking away from the body of believers that God had at one time called them to?There seems to be so many more verses that address the body life among believers in a church - bear with one another, build, edify, be unified, live in peace, etc.Your insights would be welcome as I seek to come to some resolution in my heart. thank you.Well, I really wish I could answer your question. There are many, many reasons why people decide to worship one place or the other. They really should make such a decision based on the amount of good they could do in one place or another. But often some are attracted to a place due to some insignificant reason. During my secular career, it was necessary to move from one city to another several times. I often visited a number of congregations before settling on one but I tried to do so based on where any of my feeble efforts might be best utilized. I have also, at one time or another, started attending some congregation only to learn that they were doing or teaching some unscriptural doctrine. If so, I normally expressed my disagreement with the leaders of the congregation and left quitely.The scripture you refer to, if it is the one in Matthew which I mention, has nothing to do with the problem you have explained.Thanks for commenting.
you know i like your article.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.